Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Disclosure to a new love interest

I met this really cool girl a while back, and last weekend we got lunch at the local bookstore-cafe. We found a couple of seats between bookshelves, and got to talking over sandwiches. Smiles were flashed, hair was fixed, legs and arms crossed and uncrossed, two pairs of green eyes met hesitantly. People came in to the nook to browse the books and eventually left again. Sandwiches were consumed, then crumbs picked up with fingertips and licked off. We discussed our summers, winter plans, majors. Thus began the subtle process of each discovering the other.
Last night I biked over slick sidewalks to her house, where we sat on her bed and continued our conversation. It occurred to me that I should bring up the subject of polyamory, something I'd never done with someone I was romantically interested in.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm terrified of breaking the news to someone monogamous that I'm non-monogamous. I'm afraid the person will be freaked out and run away. I have visions of a face turning sour as it condemns my lifestyle as "unnatural." I'm afraid the person will be freaked out, run away, and then gossip to all his or her friends about me. Then the news will be out, everyone will hear it and eventually I'll become a novelty item. My relationship status will get back to my parents, my employers, and then I'll really be in hot water... it only gets more irrational from there.
Luckily, it went smoothly. She happened to mention her ex girlfriend, and that conversation naturally led to me saying I was polyamorous and sort of part-time dating two other people who I didn't see that much. She grinned and said, "Really? Cool. I don't know how I got into a long term relationship first thing in college, but I feel like college just isn't the time for long-term, 'meet your partner' relationships." She asked me how I met them, I told her, and that was that.
We're hanging out again after break. :)


No comments:

Post a Comment